


and my heart pounds (harder than your beat drop)

by jjokkiri



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Break Up, Student Kihyun, dj hyungwon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 13:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjokkiri/pseuds/jjokkiri
Summary: After breaking up with his boyfriend of four years, Kihyun learns that falling in love sometimes comes faster than flashing strobe lights and harder than ear-splitting beat drops.





	and my heart pounds (harder than your beat drop)

**Author's Note:**

> For precious Irish, whom I love so much as to write a ship I never thought I'd write. I hope you enjoy this.

“Hoseok,” Yoo Kihyun whimpered, dramatically holding onto the arm of the couch—Hoseok’s couch, because he’d been camping out at the older man’s apartment for the past three days—and looking at his best friend, his eyes glimmering with the threat of tears. “You can’t leave me,” he said. “You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to comfort me in times like this!”

Sighing as he bent down to put his shoes on, Shin Hoseok ran a hand through his mess of blond locks as he straightened back up and looked at his best friend. “Kihyunnie, I’ve been comforting you for like, three days now. I have to go to work,” he told him. Kihyun pouted at him, and the blond’s expression softened. “I’ll be right back.”

“But, your work always ends so late,” Kihyun flopped back onto the couch. “What am I supposed to do for the six whole hours that you’re at work?”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow at him, glancing at his watch, quickly, “Maybe take a nap?”

He wasn’t usually so clingy, but the fact that he had no other friends outside of Hoseok’s group of friends and his now-ex-boyfriend, he had no one to keep his mind off of the breakup. Hoseok, being his one and only best friend, was the best option to bother, in order to get his mind off of the breakup. Simply because thinking about Lee Minhyuk hurt. He’d genuinely thought that they’d last forever. He’d always been someone who firmly believed that most love stories had the potential to last forever—with Minhyuk, it genuinely felt like it could. He hadn’t been expecting the breakup, but maybe that was because he was so absorbed in the _good things_ about their love.

Perhaps, he’d been a little bit delusional to think that it would be impossible for Minhyuk to leave his side. They’d graduated from the same high school, and then moved on to attend the same college—Kihyun had taken a gap year, but they immediately clicked again, when they found out that they were attending the same school. He had been so hopeful that they would last through Minhyuk’s graduation, and that Minhyuk would turn down the offers of working somewhere far away, just for him. He had been foolish to think like that—it wasn’t worth it for Minhyuk to try and make their relationship work from hundreds of miles away, when Kihyun got upset at the mere mention of it.

He loved him, he promised, when they broke up. And Kihyun believed him, but it didn’t mean that the memory of their relationship didn’t hurt. He was dramatic and he knew it—but, he liked to soak up the attention his friends lavished him with, in the concern of his healing heart.

Truthfully, it did hurt. _A lot._

And he pretended that he was just being dramatic for the sake of leaching the attention of his friends. It seemed that it was only Hoseok who knew that—which was why the older man had been staying at home from work for the past three days to tend to Kihyun’s sudden decision to sort-of-not-really move into his apartment and mope.

“How am I supposed to sleep?” Kihyun whined, childishly.

Hoseok rolled his eyes in good nature and crossed his arms over his chest, glancing at his phone for the time, before grabbing his car keys from the hook on the wall.

“No one can take my shift, I’d stay with you if I could, but I’m taking over Jooheon’s shift for today. He asked me over three weeks ago.” Hoseok told him, frowning, “He really wanted to take Changkyun overseas for their anniversary, so I’m really in a bind. There’s no way I could back out of it, or else we’d be short of staff. Hyunwoo would kill me.”

“Hyunwoo hyung can’t kill you,” Kihyun mumbled into the couch cushion, “I need you alive. I’d kill him, if he killed you.”

Sighing heavily, Hoseok pressed his lips together into a thin line as he pondered his options of what to do with his (depressed) best friend. His shift started in roughly half an hour, and if he waited for Kihyun to get dressed, then they probably would be able to make it to his workplace within the ten minutes they’d likely have to spare, if Hoseok ignored a safe amount of traffic laws. Chewing on his lower lip and finally deciding to go with his sudden idea, Hoseok raised an eyebrow at the younger man.

“How about you come with me to work? You can sit at the bar, and I’ll talk to you when I can. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new?”

Kihyun’s eyes immediately brightened at the idea of going to the nightclub with Hoseok. “Okay!”

 

 

 

It barely took Kihyun ten minutes to get ready, so Hoseok found himself able to safely drive to work. The bouncer glared at them, when Hoseok cheekily pulled Kihyun into the nightclub with him, before the official opening hour of the club. Kihyun obediently sat at the bar as Hoseok started checking the glasses to ensure their cleanliness and wiped down the counters. The brunet rested his chin in his palms and watched as Hoseok prepared the bar for the incoming working hours.

Everything moved quickly, once the lights finally dimmed and the strobe lights began to flash colours across the dark room. Everything was suddenly loud, and Kihyun found himself drowning in the way the beat pumped throughout the room, when Hoseok was busy tending to customers and not speaking to him. It’s lonely without the conversation and a little bit strange to be in a nightclub, completely sober, but the loud music at least stopped him from thinking about Minhyuk.

And he ended up having absent conversations with some of the girls who sat down beside him at the bar, speaking to him casually and then disappearing, only to come back barely an hour later, completely trashed. It was a cycle that he couldn’t help but think that Hoseok must get incredibly tired of. But, spending his night in the club was far from his ideal Friday night.

This wasn’t his ideal summer break, but at the very least, he wasn’t thinking about Minhyuk. On the bright side of things, he was able to spend his time with his best friend of fifteen years, and he wasn’t really thinking about how Minhyuk had promised him that they’d spend the entire summer together, because Kihyun was going to be alone in the university in the following semester. But, that was before Kihyun had cried about how he didn’t want Minhyuk to move far away, and before Minhyuk had decided that _maybe_ , they just wouldn’t work out.

He definitely wasn’t thinking about how they used to be so happy together, before he ruined it all by being a little bit too clingy for Minhyuk to handle—a little too much, for someone who just wanted to chase his dreams, somewhere a little farther than what they were used to. He quickly snapped out of it when, over the sound of the music, he could hear Hyunwoo calling Hoseok’s name. The older man wasn’t calling for him, but he felt the need to turn to look to where Hoseok with, tuning into the conversation between the bartender and his boss.

“Go for your break,” Hyunwoo told Hoseok, sometime a couple hours later, when too many women had shot flirtatious eyes at Hoseok and the blond had handed out too many drinks to too many different people. Rolling his sleeves up, Hoseok nodded and slid back over to where Kihyun was sitting at the bar.

“I have to go talk to my co-worker,” Hoseok told him, “Do you want to come with me, or do you just want to sit there?”

Kihyun got onto his feet almost immediately, and when no one was looking, the blond hopped over the counter and grabbed onto Kihyun’s wrist with a grin. And they moved through the crowd, taking a path directly through the sweaty bodies moving against each other—Hoseok’s hand kept its grip steady on Kihyun’s wrist, making sure not to lose the younger man in the crowd. Kihyun hadn’t the slightest idea of where they were headed, but he trusted that it wasn’t anywhere dangerous. After all, this was his best friend of so many years.

It turned out that when Hoseok said that he was headed to speak to his co-worker, he’d meant the cute DJ on the elevated platform on the other side of the nightclub. Hoseok let go of Kihyun’s wrist when the people surrounding them weren’t trying to drown his best friend anymore. It seemed as though the DJ quickly noticed the two of them approaching him, because he quickly pressed a few buttons on his laptop and moved a couple of the dials, before a pre-made remix flood through the booming speakers.

From Kihyun’s angle, he could make out a mess of dark, styled hair atop the man’s head. He was dressed in a leather jacket and the silver zippers glowed underneath the black light gleaming down on them. The DJ had a sharp jawline and plump lips which were curved into a perfect pout. And if Kihyun were to jump to conclusions, he would say that anyone who had eyes could see that he was an attractive man. The brunet had to remind himself that he’d just gotten out of a relationship and it was far from the right time to be checking out people.

He stood up, glancing at the pair before stepping towards them. As he got closer, Kihyun couldn’t help but notice the height difference between them. The DJ took one quick look at Kihyun, before turning to Hoseok with a small grin and nudging his shoulder in greeting.

“Hey,” he greeted with a grin. “Come to see me or something?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok replied, “Can’t you change the song? You’ve played this song at least three times in my past four shifts,” he said. “Don’t you think people would get annoyed of it?”

The DJ smirked in amusement, “Not like any of them are sober enough to remember what I played,” he remarked. “It’s just the staff that get sick of me.”

And then, as if noticing Kihyun again, the DJ raised an eyebrow and gestured towards Kihyun, “Is this your friend? He looks like he needs a drink.”

Something in Kihyun’s gut immediately told him that he should be offended by the statement. Maybe because it meant that he looked too sober to be in the club, though Kihyun could hardly see that being a bad thing. Personally, he thought it was better to get drunk in the safety of your own home than to be out with strangers, unsure if anyone would take care of you if anything happened.

He narrowed his eyes, ready to make a comment, but Hoseok’s chuckle stopped him.

“Hey, when you get back to the bar,” he started, “Get him a drink on me.”

Kihyun couldn’t help the way that his jaw dropped in surprise. He’d never in his life met someone who was so straightforward. In his experience, buying drinks for someone was a method to get the bartender to play matchmaker, and you weren’t supposed to reveal yourself unless the person asked and the bartender pointed you out. Kihyun could hardly wrap his head around the sudden diversion from everything he knew, and his mind reeled as he tried to catch up. _This was strange._ The DJ chuckled, shaking his head.

“Don’t look so surprised,” he told him. “Now, you can tell whomever dumped you that the hot DJ at the club bought you a drink. Name’s Hyungwon, if you need it for bragging rights.”

Then, he was putting his headphones back on and turning back to his work station, completely ignoring Kihyun’s shocked presence.

 _It wasn’t looking sober: he looked positively dumped,_ Kihyun realized with a shock of horror filling his veins.

Hoseok had to drag him back to the bar, and it’s only when his best friend placed a mysterious glass of alcohol in front of him that he really snapped out of it.

But, for the rest of the night, he couldn’t stop thinking about Hyungwon.

 

 

 

Thinking about the cute DJ who was a little bolder than anyone he’d ever encountered before was something that didn’t die off immediately—if at all. Kihyun found himself randomly thinking about the other man at random moments of the day, when he was lounging on Hoseok’s couch and pretending to not be a ridiculous bother. Somewhere between being buried in between the sofa cushions and the blanket which Hoseok always left on the sofa, Kihyun found himself wanting to go back to the nightclub in hopes of finding the DJ, again.

He reasoned with himself that it was to set things straight with the other man—maybe tell him that he wasn’t in his right mind, and then thank him for the drink.

Regardless of what it was, though, he ended up wanting to go with Hoseok to the older man’s next shift at the nightclub. There wasn’t a chance that he could ask Hoseok if the older man knew Hyungwon’s working schedule without seeming suspicious, but he managed to get Hoseok to drive him to the club without very many questions. He’d brushed it off by telling his best friend that he just wanted a few drinks to get his mind off of Minhyuk.

Hoseok easily accepted the excuse, but not before warning him not to ask another bartender to give him a bunch of drinks—to watch himself and make sure that he didn’t get hammered. It was typical of Hoseok to worry so much about him, and despite lying, Kihyun couldn’t help but let his heart swell with affection towards his best friend.

It took them to Hoseok tending to a couple guests on the other side of the bar, and Kihyun’s eyes scanning the dance floor, pretending to not look past the crowd of sweaty bodies to search for the attractive DJ. And somehow, it ended up as a habit—a routine to come to the club, weekly. Then, it became every few days; he’d go to the club with Hoseok during the older man’s shifts, and Hoseok paid no mind to it, genuinely believing that Kihyun wanted to spend more time with him.

But, every single time he went, he couldn’t bring himself to walk the few steps over to the pit Hyungwon sat in, and just talk to him.

Even after Hoseok stopped covering Jooheon’s shifts, and the younger man had returned from his vacation, Kihyun found himself being drawn towards the club. Hyungwon’s working schedule never seemed to vary—he worked the same days and hours, every single week.

Somehow, time dragged itself on, and Jooheon was back at the club for a good two weeks, before Kihyun managed to take a few steps away from the safety of the bar and towards Hyungwon. It seemed that he was braver when his best friend wasn’t the one manning the bar. But, when he was caught up in the crowd of unrecognizable dancing people, he turned his head to glance in the direction of where Hyungwon was supposed to be. His eyes met directly with the tall DJ’s and Kihyun found himself freezing.

Someone bumped into his side, pushing him and frowning at his lack of motion in the crowd of dancers, but in his shock, the brunet stumbled to somewhere more breathable.

And when Kihyun slipped out of the club, through the dancing bodies and flashing lights, he managed to catch Jooheon’s eye. The bartender grinned.

 

 

 

“You know,” Changkyun told him, when they were sitting at a table in a café together. “I never took you for someone who would frequent clubs. Jooheon always told me that you weren’t the type to actually want to immerse yourself in that kind of environment.”

The younger man had recently come back from his vacation with Jooheon, and his eyes were practically gleaming with happiness at every single moment. They must’ve gone somewhere warm, because Changkyun’s skin was a nuance darker than he’d remembered it being—he glowed, quite literally, with the sun-kissed look. Kihyun couldn’t help but feel a little bit jealous of him, because he was so happy with his long-term relationship and everything about his significant other. It was just being bitter because he was once like that, too.

“I mean, I guess I’m not,” he replied, “But, sometimes, breakups change you?”

“Sure,” Changkyun replied, stirring his coffee with his straw and pursing his lips. It was obvious that he didn’t believe him. “Are you sure it’s the breakup that changed you?”

Kihyun furrowed his brows and looked at Changkyun from behind the plastic of his cup of iced coffee, “Why would you ask something like that?”

The younger’s eyes glinted with amusement and he shrugged, “Well, I’m just saying I might have heard some stories that could tell me otherwise.”

“I want to hear these stories,” Kihyun told him, sipping from the straw in his cup of coffee.

It had been a few days since his last return to the club since the time he’d made direct eye contact with Hyungwon in the club. To him, it had seemed too much like he was obviously looking for the other man, and in all honesty, Kihyun had to admit that it was embarrassing. It was the only reason that he couldn’t bring himself to go back to the club, and he assumed that it was why Changkyun had reached out to go out for a coffee with him.

 (He couldn’t catch him at the club, when he visited Jooheon, so he had to find an excuse to talk to Kihyun.)

They’d been talking about useless things for the past hour, but it seemed as if Changkyun was finally treading the topic he really meant to bring up during the meeting between them.

“I don’t know what you’ve been hearing,” Kihyun continued, “But, I’m pretty sure that you know me well enough to know that I’ve changed since the breakup, and I don’t think it could be explained by anything else.”

Changkyun rested his cheek in his palm and frowned. “No,” he said, “I think that you wouldn’t change this much in response to a breakup—especially because Minhyuk hyung was very sweet about the way he ended things with you. You were sad, hyung… but, you’re not anymore—anyone can see that.”

And as if he was struck, Kihyun looked up, “I’m not?”

(Perhaps, he was struck by the shock of Changkyun’s bold statement.)

“No,” Changkyun told him. “You’re not sad anymore. It’s really obvious. You’re changing—you’re doing things that you’d never usually do, frequently, and you’re pretending that you have no idea what’s going on. You’re pretending that when your friends notice, that they’re just imagining things, because you’ve always been like this, but you’re not. This is how you were when you first started falling for Minhyuk hyung—it makes me think that you’re in love.”

“In love?” Kihyun made a face. “I just got out of a serious relationship, and you think I’m suddenly in love?”

“I think you have a crush,” Changkyun told him. Kihyun shook his head.

“No way,” he answered, eyes shifting nervously. He hoped that Changkyun couldn’t see it, but even as he was denying it, the face of a certain DJ flashed through his head and he wanted to strangle himself for it. “I don’t see anyone aside from Hoseok, you and Jooheon. I’m pretty sure you don’t want me falling in love with you or your boyfriend, and Hoseok is just… Hoseok is just _Hoseok_.”

Changkyun snorted, “I’ve heard stories from Jooheon.”

_Damn Jooheon._

A wicked smile danced across Changkyun’s lips, and Kihyun glanced at the younger man with wary eyes. The other man sighed softly and then his face turned serious again. Kihyun didn’t know what to expect from Changkyun, but it was an instinct to brace himself for the worst—whatever the worst was going to be. Maybe, Changkyun was going to tell him that he was a terrible person and that they shouldn’t be friends anymore—that’d be heartbreaking.

“I get that you’re a dick-loving clusterfuck of a sap, and you’d never actually do anything to hurt someone,” he told him. Kihyun nearly choked on his coffee at the name—almost spitting his mouthful of coffee out at the straw. Changkyun snorted at him, before continuing, “But, I really hope that this is genuine interest you have in him.”

“What do you mean?” Kihyun’s brows furrowed, looking at Changkyun in confusion. Changkyun had always been talented in injecting humour into more serious conversations, and Kihyun had to know to brace himself for what was coming next, no matter what it was. The younger man flashed a small smile.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about, hyung,” Changkyun said. “We’ve seen you staring in his direction too many times for you to even deny it. Hoseok hyung told us a lot—you’re someone who falls fast and hard, we know that. But, Hyungwon is a really good person,” he said.

“Are you saying…?” Kihyun’s voice trailed off and he looked at Changkyun, eyes lit dimly with hurt and the younger man nodded.

“I trust you, hyung,” he said, “I trust you with my life, and I know you’d never hurt someone. But, as a friend of the both of you, I _need_ to say it: Hyungwon is a really good person. He doesn’t deserve to be a rebound, if you’re still not over Minhyuk hyung.”

 

 

 

And despite Changkyun’s warning not being anything he ever intended to do, Kihyun found himself dwelling over the younger man’s words for weeks. His entire existence seemed to just gravitate towards the club though, sometime after the conversation with Changkyun, when he’d lost track of time and wasn’t sure what he was doing with his summer and all of his free days. Hoseok was busy with more shifts at the club, but when he was off of work, he found his best friend sleeping—Hoseok was too tired to entertain him.

But, that lack of attention had him somehow coming back to the club where Hoseok worked. Hoseok wasn’t working today, but Kihyun wasn’t looking for Hoseok. His mind knew that he wasn’t looking for Hoseok, because he knew that his best friend was at home, sleeping. But, at the same time, his mind insisted that he wasn’t looking for a certain handsome DJ, either. He supposed that he could insist that he was just going to visit Jooheon, but perhaps, they weren’t close enough to make that excuse—Kihyun wasn’t even sure if Jooheon was working, today.

If he wasn’t, then Kihyun surely couldn’t make excuses. He and Hyunwoo weren’t close enough for Kihyun to spare him a visit—he was just his best friend’s boss, who knew him by name.

The young man lingered by the door, just a couple feet away from the bouncer, debating if he should enter or not. It must have been a while that he was standing still by the door, because the bouncer spared him a few questioning glances, before he busied himself in checking the identification cards of the few girls who tried to flash their cleavage instead of their legal cards. Kihyun bit back an amused smile, before a voice snapped him away from the scene unfolding before him.

“I’m not working today.” The voice came from behind him.

The brunet turned his head to look in the direction of the sound, surprised. Hyungwon sounded different when the music wasn’t blasting and he didn’t need to yell over the sound of the booming bass. His speaking voice was warm and soothing—Kihyun practically felt himself shiver at the sudden sound of the other man’s voice.

Flustered, Kihyun cleared his throat and turned his head to look at Hyungwon. “I’m not looking for you.”

Hyungwon chuckled and it was obvious that the taller man didn’t believe his words at all. He might have answered a little too slowly for it to have really been believable, but until the end of his life, Kihyun would deny that it came off as obvious, because it might just expose to the world how poor of a liar he was.

“Oh, really? Hoseok, then?” Hyungwon arched an eyebrow. “He’s not working today, either.”

Without thinking, Kihyun frowned, “No.”

“Then, are you just here to linger in the middle of the crowd and pretend you’re not looking for anyone?” Hyungwon’s voice was obviously teasing, and Kihyun’s cheeks immediately flushed with colour at the sudden accusation. He hadn’t thought that Hyungwon would have brought it up so directly, but with his cheeks burning red, he couldn’t help but stammer a little bit.

“W-what do you mean?” he managed. He hated himself for stuttering, and he hoped that Hyungwon didn’t notice it. For some reason, he kept making a fool of himself in front of the handsome, taller man. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he hissed at himself in annoyance, telling himself that the whole foolish act was getting old. But, something about Chae Hyungwon just flustered him, and he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Hyungwon smirked in amusement, “You come to the club and glance around the place, awkwardly, like you’re looking for someone or something,” he explained, “And then, you sit there for a little bit, before you order another drink and it starts all over again. I’ve noticed.”

“You notice?” Kihyun swallowed. Hyungwon grinned.

“Well, it’s kind of hard to not notice when you feel someone staring at you,” Hyungwon told him. Kihyun’s eyes widened and if it were possible, his cheeks burned hotter—brighter in colour. He hoped that the dim light around them made it hard to see, and that he could brush the colour off as the glow of the red neon sign hanging a couple feet away from them.

“Who’s staring at you? Certainly not me, right?” he asked, dumbly. And as soon as the words left his lips, Kihyun regretted it. It felt so obviously fake, and if Hyungwon were just teasing him, then he had no way of turning back and pulling his words, now. It was floating out in the open— _Yoo Kihyun’s blatant lie of a denial about staring at Chae Hyungwon,_ because he was a terrible liar.

Hyungwon raised an eyebrow, and Kihyun suddenly felt like dying. _That sounded like a good idea._

“Oh,” the brunet laughed nervously, gripping into his phone and looking at it. The device was dead, but he grasped at everything he could. Surely, Hyungwon wouldn’t notice minor details. The brunet cleared his throat and glanced to his phone before gesturing to it and looking back to Hyungwon, “Oh, look, I have a call! I need to get this, it’s important! I’ll see you around!”

And then he was quickly scurrying away from the taller man with footsteps faster than he’d ever moved in his entire life.

_“Wait, your phone wasn’t ringing!”_

He could hear Hyungwon calling after him, and he wished he could vanish into thin air and never appear in front of the taller man, ever again. It took everything in him to not break out into a full sprint away from the DJ.

 

 

 

He found himself on Hoseok’s couch not even a day later. The older man was standing in the kitchen and stirring something in a pot—Kihyun didn’t pay attention to what Hoseok was making, but his best friend promised to feed him, and that was enough. Laying down on Hoseok’s sofa, Kihyun looked to the ceiling. He was somewhere deep in his thoughts about how he’d messed up so badly in front of such a handsome man, when Hoseok’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Kihyun,” he called from the kitchen. Kihyun made a quiet noise, letting him know that he was listening to him. Hoseok continued after a beat of silence, “Jooheon’s been telling me that you’ve been going to the club a lot. I mean, I know that you go with me when I go to work, but I wasn’t aware that you were going alone, too.”

“Yeah, I’ve been going a lot alone,” he said, suddenly feeling a little guilty for making his friend worried. Hoseok didn’t say it aloud, but Kihyun could hear the worry in his voice. They’d been friends for long enough for Kihyun to simply hear it easily.

“No,” Kihyun replied, quietly. “I stopped. I think I’m over it for a while.”

Hoseok appeared in the archway between the kitchen and the living room with a concerned look on his face, apron stained with strange colours (and if Kihyun didn’t know he was cooking, he might have thought that Hoseok was painting a picture).

“Were you really just drinking away your memories with Minhyuk?” he asked, brows furrowed. Kihyun sighed softly, shaking his head.

“When you say it like that, it sounds pitiful,” he told him with a frown. “But, don’t worry about me. I won’t go anymore.”

“I’m not saying you can’t go,” Hoseok said, mirroring his frown.

Truthfully, his consciousness probably mostly forgotten about Minhyuk—their relationship remained as good memories, but he wasn’t dwelling in sadness for every waking hour, anymore. His mood wasn’t being pulled down by the mere thought of his ex-boyfriend, who was too kind to tell him that he didn’t love him anymore.

“No,” he said, “I know. I’m just deciding that I don’t want to go anymore. It’s not really my place.”

“Kihyun…”

“What’s for dinner?”

 

 

 

True to his words, he did stop going to the club, if only to avoid possible encounters with Hyungwon. He’d embarrassed himself enough with their first interaction outside of the club, and he’d never live it down. That was something he was almost certain of. _How was he supposed to ever face Hyungwon ever again?_ There went the thought of ever even trying to flirt with Hyungwon—he’d dug himself a grave and surely, it was too deep for him to get out of.

He needed to find other things to do.

But, somehow, it was hard to find things to do when he wasn’t going to the club, almost every other day. He hadn’t realized how much of his time was taken up in going to the club and awkwardly staring at Hyungwon, hoping to one day build the courage to go and actually speak to him, like a normal person. And now, all of his old hobbies felt strange to do. It made him think of everything he used to do with Minhyuk when he’d go out to coffee shops alone, and try to write scripts for everything he wanted to someday direct.  

He’d thought that he was finally coming to terms with the fact that he was no longer in a long-term committed relationship with Lee Minhyuk. But, it seemed that every single moment he hadn’t been thinking about Minhyuk was because he was thinking about Hyungwon. It was a hopeless crush on a practical stranger, but Kihyun found himself slipping back into that annoying post-breakup depression as soon as he stopped thinking about Chae Hyungwon.

He couldn’t understand what was so special about the DJ, but Kihyun simply found himself so drawn to him.

Sitting in his room, Kihyun buried his face into his hands and sighed. _Would Minhyuk hate him for moving on so quickly? Was this moving on?_

His mind flashed with the memory of Minhyuk sitting across from him in the restaurant on the day he’d decided to declare that he was moving to the other side of the country, and the moment he’d decided that he wanted to end their four year relationship. (“We were good for each other, but maybe not good enough. Maybe that’s not enough. I love you, Kihyun, but I don’t think we can make this work across this kind of distance. I want you to find someone who loves you no matter what; no matter how far apart,” Minhyuk had told him with a sincere smile, hands holding onto Kihyun’s; warm and comforting, no matter how much his words hurt.)

The clock ticked away mindlessly as he drowned himself in his pointless thoughts, and he almost didn’t notice the buzzing of his phone on the desk.

Glancing to the screen, a text from an unsaved number flashed at him and Kihyun’s brows furrowed as he picked up the device and unlocked it.

_+010-9401-1594: It’s Hyungwon. Chae Hyungwon, the DJ from the club. I asked Hoseok for your number. You stopped coming to visit me._ _L_

Placing his phone back down, Kihyun exhaled loudly and buried his face back into his hands again. Suddenly, his chest was blooming with all of those annoying butterflies again—a mixture of nervousness, embarrassment and a little bit of excitement. He didn’t know what to do with himself, but in the next few moments, his phone buzzed again. He held his breath, peeking through the gap between his fingers and down at his phone; his eyes widened at the paragraph he’d been sent.

_+010-9401-1594: I decided on my own that you should go out on a date with me to make up for the time that you suddenly ran away from me. You can’t say no, because you owe me. I can ask Hoseok where you live too—he owes me, so he’d tell me—so don’t bother trying to avoid it. Just tell me when and where to pick you up. I have all of next week booked off of work._

He couldn’t help the way his lips curled into a small smile, and he shook his head in amusement, finally dropping his hands from where they covered his face.

Maybe, Minhyuk would have wanted for him to be happy with someone else, as soon as he could. And maybe, Minhyuk wouldn’t hate him for it.

And maybe, this was okay.

(He held his breath when he texted Hyungwon back.)

 

 

 

They managed to find a time to see one another, after hours of uselessly texting one another. It turned out that Kihyun’s apprehensiveness to be himself around the younger man was all in vain. Hyungwon was just as quirky as he was, but perhaps that was just how he behaved when they weren’t talking face-to-face. Kihyun was almost certain that he would lose his composure as soon as he saw the tall DJ in person, once more.

It’s a Friday night and Kihyun had to cleverly hide his date from Hoseok, who asked him to go out of town to visit Hoseok’s family (his best friend’s family loved him). Hoseok had been disappointed, but Kihyun had been more than glad to know that his best friend wouldn’t be in the city for the weekend, so it didn’t matter where Hyungwon wanted to take them on their date—Hyungwon insisted that they call it a date.

So, standing in front of his apartment building’s steps, Kihyun nervously shifted, waiting for Hyungwon to pick him up. He was told that they’d be walking; he made sure to wear comfortable shoes, but he didn’t know what to expect from Hyungwon. They didn’t know one another very well, save the text message conversations for the past week. With his hands clasped behind his back, he waited quietly as he’d been instructed—anxiously looking to his watch every few moments.

Chae Hyungwon seemed to be too good at surprising him.

He started at the sound of the younger man’s voice, when it cut through the muted whistling of the wind.

“Are you ready?” Hyungwon’s voice came from his left and he turned his head to look at the younger man. He nodded and smiled. “Come on, let’s go.”

His heart soared, when Hyungwon’s fingers linked with his and he hoped he wouldn’t ever be let down.

 

 

 

It almost seemed like aimless wandering, but they ended up somewhere in a park in an area Kihyun didn’t recognize. With a cheeky smile, Hyungwon had offered to purchase a bunch of snacks from the carts lining the streets. The summer night was cool and their interlaced hands were warm. Hyungwon didn’t let go of him, even as he was pulling out his wallet to pay for the food, and Kihyun swallowed around the fluttering sensation in his chest—Chae Hyungwon made his heart beat faster, and he couldn’t believe that he was falling for someone so quickly.

_It was ridiculous._

But, with their hands holding assorted treats, Hyungwon cheekily pulled him towards a bench and smiled at him.

“I don’t really like extravagant dates,” he explained. “I’m not someone to go to a restaurant or something and talk—I think it’s too pretentious to sit down in a restaurant and talk to one another, because you’re too restrained when everyone is looking at you.”

“So, you like to take people to parks in the middle of nowhere?” Kihyun didn’t miss a beat, and Hyungwon laughed. His laughter was airy and Kihyun couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his laughter. (Slowly, but surely, Hyungwon was going to turn him into an absolute mess.)

Hyungwon’s grin was childish and there was something adorable about the way his eyes lit up. “Yes,” he answered. “I take people to ambiguous locations and hope they’re comfortable enough to talk to me, while we eat cheap street food.”

Kihyun leaned back against the bench and hummed softly, nodding. Hyungwon looked pleased at the way he simply relaxed and he leaned back, taking one of the Styrofoam boxes from Kihyun’s hands and opening it. He broke apart a pair of disposable chopsticks, before offering Kihyun a bite of the rice cake he’d picked up. With a small smile, he opened his mouth. Hyungwon popped the rice cake into his mouth, and the brunet immediately hissed at the heat.

He turned his head away, fanning his mouth frantically and Hyungwon broke into boisterous laughter at his actions.

“Cute,” he remarked with a sparkle in his eyes. And it felt too natural to reach his hand over and punch Hyungwon in the arm. Hyungwon grinned.

There was a brief moment of silence as the DJ continued to stuff his face with the snacks, and Kihyun watched in comfortable silence, pulling his jacket closer to his body.

“Hey, I’ve been curious. Do you always buy drinks for people, or was it just me?” Kihyun asked, with his hands in his lap. Hyungwon was busy blowing hot air out of his mouth, trying to cool down the rice cake that he’d stuffed into his mouth a little too quickly.

“I thought you were cute,” he replied. “I haven’t bought anyone a drink in years; in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever bought anyone a drink.”

Kihyun gawked at him, “But, you were so confident when you bought me the drink!”

“Because I know I’m cute,” Hyungwon playfully winked at him, nudging him gently. Kihyun pushed him back, before comfortably leaning against his shoulder. Hyungwon pushed another rice cake to his lips and Kihyun easily opened his mouth.

There was something so comfortable about being with Hyungwon. It felt like they’d known one another for years, and he couldn’t explain it. But, he liked it—that was for certain.

“I’m a college dropout,” Hyungwon said, after a moment of silence. Kihyun looked at him in surprise, blinking curiously as if trying to process the sudden statement. “I’m telling you about myself.” The clarification had Kihyun biting back a quiet laugh, and he nodded. Hyungwon shifted and Kihyun felt the movement from where his head rested against Hyungwon’s shoulder. “You’re a student, right? I majored in music production and composition before I dropped out, but I decided that I liked the freedom of doing whatever I wanted over doing assignments and following rules that my professors set for me.”

“You don’t like rules?” Kihyun asked. Hyungwon shrugged.

 “It depends on the kind of rule,” he replied. “I like laws—they’re pretty cool. But, I don’t like people restricting my creative freedom.”

“I like that mindset,” Kihyun said. Hyungwon raised an eyebrow. “I major in theatrical direction,” he clarified. “I direct stage actions for plays. I want to do movies someday, but… for now, the theatre kids are good enough. I’m in my final year of studies, before I have to go off and do my thesis.”

“Sounds like a pain in the ass.”

“It is,” Kihyun smiled, “But, I think I like what I do.”

“That’s good,” Hyungwon said. “That’s really good. It’s always good to like what you do, because if you like it enough, it means you’d give up anything for it, and that’s admirable passion.”

Kihyun was quiet for a moment, “Are you always so… philosophical?”

Hyungwon snorted, “Only to cute boys, apparently.”

 

 

 

Their night passed entirely too quickly—Kihyun never imagined that a date in the middle of nowhere would ever be fun, but Hyungwon made it fun. Or maybe he was just discovering a side of himself that he didn’t really know existed. Perhaps, Hyungwon was right—this was a better way of getting to know one another. Because if Kihyun felt comfortable talking to Hyungwon before, then now, he felt like he’d known the younger man for years. It was amazing.

His affection only seemed to grow with time—no matter how short.

The clock hovered somewhere around midnight when Kihyun finally gave in to his consistent urges to yawn, and Hyungwon offered to take him home. Kihyun had smiled and shook his head. Hyungwon’s place was closer, and they’d drop him off before Kihyun headed home.

So, standing on Hyungwon’s doorstep, Kihyun awkwardly hovered, not sure of if he was supposed to leave immediately. Hyungwon searched in the dim light for his keys and Kihyun waited, deciding that he’d at least wait until the younger man was safe in his apartment before he left. When Hyungwon finally slotted the key into the hole, Kihyun smiled and cleared his throat.

“I had a really good time today,” he said. “Thanks for taking me out. I hope you sleep well; goodnight.”

He turned on his heel to leave, when Hyungwon pushed the door open. He hadn’t been expecting for the sound of the key to pull back out and for the door to click shut again. And everything else happened in quick succession. Hyungwon caught his wrist, and Kihyun turned his head to look at him.

“Wait, hey,” he started. Kihyun raised an eyebrow, curiously at him, and he swore he wasn’t imagining the slight glow of colour on his cheeks.

“What’s up?” he answered, softly. Hyungwon chuckled quietly, and to Kihyun, it almost sounded like a nervous laugh. Something in his chest constricted and he felt his heart burst with affection when Hyungwon’s fingers gently squeezed his wrist, as if he wasn’t even aware that he was doing it. He could almost hear the gears turning in Hyungwon’s head as he thought about what he was about to say. Kihyun blinked at him, patiently waiting for him to speak.

And when he did, Kihyun felt his heart explode with that same affectionate which he’d just felt.

“Do you kiss on the first date?” he asked, softly.

 _Was he shy?_ Kihyun couldn’t help the immediate smile that crossed his lips and he gently tugged the younger man towards himself, pulling him down and stepping onto the tips of his toes. Hyungwon seemed shocked by Kihyun’s sudden movement, because it was entirely too easy for Kihyun to gently press their lips together. It was quick, but warm and Kihyun could still feel the butterflies twisting in his stomach—he was sure his cheeks were burning with colour, but he always seemed to be in luck with poor lighting.

“Sometimes I do,” he replied, lips barely an inch away from Hyungwon’s. The taller man’s cheeks were obviously red and Kihyun let his smile grow.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, and then Hyungwon was clearing his throat.

“I’d… I’d like to see you again,” he said, quickly. The DJ cleared his throat, amending his statement, “I mean, of course I would, but like… I’m just saying, I know that we haven’t known one another for very long, but I really like your company, and as stupid as it sounds… I think I want something more with you, at some point.”

It was true. They’d known one another for just a short period of time, but there was no denying the way that Hyungwon made his heart race and there wasn’t a chance that they could deny the way they were so naturally attracted to one another. They had no idea where they were headed, if they were to try this. And they might not last, but Kihyun was willing to give it a shot, because he was sure that they were on the same wavelength—at some point, they’d like to be something more than friends. And if it started with being exclusive, before they could become official, then he was willing to put his all into _trying_.

“Okay,” he answered, eyes nearly twinkling. “I’m free all summer. You’re going to have to make some time for me, when I’m back in school, though. Are you okay with that?”

Hyungwon nodded, “Of course.”

As he was leaving Hyungwon’s doorstep, he felt like he was walking on clouds—head floating somewhere beyond himself. He’d been expecting the night to crash and burn, following their first few interactions, but it didn’t. It’d taken a turn for the _better_ , and he was sure he was positively glowing.

(And if he ever thought the bass in the club was loud, then he swore it was no match for the way his heart was pounding in his chest in this moment.)

**Author's Note:**

> please do not call that number, i guarantee you will not reach chae hyungwon.   
> anyway! feel free to find me on twitter as always @kkyunjus! ^^


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